Just Touch Me, Please: The Night That Changed My Life

Two years ago, I was speaking to someone, and getting vulnerable the way you do when conversation flows easily. We landed on touch - specifically, the absence of it. He spoke openly about how the only meaningful touch he was receiving at the time, came from his young son.

I opened up too. I told him what I missed, and he agreed with everything I mentioned: being hugged, touched, kissed on the forehead, and even on the elbow. Brushed up against while making tea or pouring wine. Near suffocating in bed during a bear hug (I love being squeezed, so bear hugs are mandatory). It's the little things you miss when it comes to intentional touch.

A few months later, I experienced what I can only define as the most intentional thought-provoking night of my life.

I'll skip the story build-up and fast forward to the important bits: After a night out, the gent invited me over to his place. The trains had stopped I said yes. I walked into a warm living room with soft acoustics playing in the background. The room was lit by lamps, instead of harsh overhead lights. We hugged and my shoulders immediately dropped. I let out a vibrating sigh, cocooning into his body and didn't want to let go. I could have stayed there forever.

We kissed lightly and held each other tightly - our fit was perfect. Every gap, I tried to fill, I tried to hold on to.

In his king-size bed, I had the most restorative bonding experienced in my life. Hand holding. Kisses on my stomach. Biting my waist. Bodies pulling away, then pulling back in like an accordion. We kissed and whispered and talked. I raked my fingers through his beautiful thick hair, kissed his dimpled cheeks, and cursed the sun as it rose.

It was the most warming, assuring night of my life. And that... was sad. So sad that in the morning, my emotions got the best of me and I whispered, "I can't believe this has to end."

"Don't think about the end," he said. "Stay in the now."

We stopped speaking not long after that night. But at least once a week, I think about it. The intention of being wound up in another person. To lead and be led. To take and be taken. Going from little spoon to big spoon. We fit.

I've been thinking about how I can create better experiences for myself and others through intentional touch. Consistent touch. Restorative touch.

Now I'm offering it. In sessions and on dates.

Who knew an intentional night would come full circle to create something great for other people? Because we're all deprived of touch. And like my Bed Buddy For The Night said - touches from little humans may not cut it. Big body bear hugs just might. And if they don't, there are other forms of touch.

To find out more about my touch therapy offering, Something Slower, feel free to read:

Intimacy Beyond Sex - Touch Therapy

Touch Therapy: When It Leads to Sex

Something Slower: Touch Therapy, Luxembourg